The old lady grew very fond of them but alas, her husband was only interested in serving them for dinner.
So one day, when they were old enough, the old lady decided to send them out into the world to seek better fortunes.
“Go on my sons! Go into the vast world!” The old lady said. “Find a sow, get married and have lots of kids!”
You see, the poor woman had no children of her own and had long treated the three piglets like her own sons.
“Yes mother! We will not disappoint you.” The first pig said.
“We will miss you mother!” the second pig continued.
The third pig did not say anything as he was busy thinking of something else.
“Well, look at the time”. The old lady said. “It’s time to go. Before the old man gets back.”
“Goodbye mother!” the three little pigs said one last time before heading towards the deep dark woods.
“Well, I guess that’s it. We’re on our own now. So, what do we do next?” the first little pig asked.
“Didn’t you hear mother?” The second little pig replied. “She told us to find a wife and get married.”
“What do you think brother?” the first little pig asked the third little pig.
“Hmm… well, I think the first thing we should do is build a house first.” replied the third little pig.
“That seems a great idea!” the first and second little pigs said in unison.
“So, what are we waiting for? Let’s go build ourselves a house!” the third little pig smiled and led the way.
"Goodbye mother!" the three little pigs said
one last time before heading towards the dark words
one last time before heading towards the dark words
*****
Soon after, they came upon a man carrying a bundle of straw.
“This looks like something I could build my house with.” The first little pig thought.
So, he walked up to the man and asked him politely, “Dear sir, Can I please have some of the straws you are carrying?”
The man was rather surprised to hear a talking pig but he still managed to ask, “What for?”
“You see dear sir, I was thinking of building myself a house with those straws.”
The man hesitated for a while then replied, “Well, I think I can spare you some of the straw.” The man then gave the first little pig some of his straws.
“Thanks sir! I will surely invite you to my housewarming party when it’s ready!” the first little pig said excitedly.
“Are you really gonna build your house with those straws?” the second little pig asked. “It looks kinda flimsy.”
“What do you know?” the first little pig replied in annoyance. “I think it will do just fine.”
Once again, the third little pig remained silent.
The two little pigs then left their brother to build his house and traveled further up the road.
It was not long when they met a man carrying a bundle of sticks.
“This is definitely much better than the straws.” The second little pig thought.
So, he walked up to the man and asked him politely, “Dear sir, can you spare me some of the sticks you are carrying?”
The man was shocked to hear a pig talking but he calmed himself down and asked, “What do you want the sticks for?”
“You see dear sir, I was thinking of building myself a nice little home with those sticks.”
The man thought for a while then said, “Okay, I will give you some of these sticks.”
“Thanks sir! I will invite you to my housewarming party when it’s ready!” the second little pig said happily.
“So, what do you think?” the second little pig asked his brother.
“Not bad. But can be better.” The third little pig replied. It was a pig with few words.
So, the third little pig left his brother to work on his house and he continued up the road alone.
It was almost evening time and the third little pig started to get a bit worried. What if he couldn’t build a house in time? He has heard tales of the big bad wolf who lived in the deep dark woods and he had no intention of becoming his dinner.
Luckily for the third little pig, he met a man carrying a load of bricks.
“Aha! Just what I need to build the perfect house!” the third little pig thought to himself.
So, he approached the man for some bricks to build his house.
“Please sir, can I have some of the bricks you are carrying?”
The man pondered for a moment then replied, “I could give you some. But bricks are expensive. What can you offer me in return?”
“Dear sir, I have nothing much to offer you. What do you suggest?” the third little pig asked.
“Well, I have a starving family waiting for dinner. Since you have no money to offer me, why not give me a piece of your meat?” the man asked. “Some roasted pork would surely delight the kids!”
The third little pig thought for a while, he would be doing a good deed if he offered some meat to the man, in return he can get the tough bricks he needed to build his house… the meat part would hurt a bit but… what the heck!
“Alright! It’s a deal!” the third little pig agreed.
So, the man gave the third little pig some bricks and in return brought home a piece of pork for his family.
The third little pig was happy with himself and started to work on his house, though a bit slow as the wounds still hurts.
Unknown to the third little pig, the man with the bricks was ambushed by the big bad wolf on his way home.
To save his own life, the man decided to offer the piece of pork he was bringing home for his children.
The big bad wolf devoured the pork greedily, but he was still hungry.
“Hmm… delicious meat you got there. What is it?” the big bad wolf asked.
“Its…er…pork…” The man stammered. “This pig gave it to me in return for some bricks.”
“A pig you say…hmm…sounds delicious to me!” the big bad wolf laughed.
“Yes! Yes! The pig is good to eat. Have him for dinner instead.” The man pleaded.
“Well…okay…I’ll have YOU FOR DINNER and the Pig for supper!” and the big bad wolf pounced on the man and gobbled him up.
He was so full after that and he decided to have the little pigs for breakfast instead.
*****
The next morning, the big bad wolf went to the deep dark woods in search of his bacon breakfast.
He reached the straw house of the first little pig and knocked on the door.
“Little pig, little pig, let me come in!”
“Who’s there?” the first little pig asked.
“Just a friend.” The big bad wolf replied.
“Come back later. The housewarming party is tonight.” The first little pig said.
“I can’t wait that long! I’m hungry already!” the big bad wolf said.
The first little pig peeped out of his window and was shocked to see the big bad wolf in front of his house!
“No, no, no, not by the hair of my chinny chin chin.” Squealed the first little pig in great fright.
“Ha Ha. I love this part the most.” Said the big bad wolf. “Then I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll blow your house in!”
And he huffed and he puffed and he blew the house of straw in.
However, the first little pig was not that stupid; he had already escaped from his house before the wolf blew it down.
Of course the big bad wolf was angry when he saw the pile of straw and no pig.
“You can run but you can’t hide!” he growled angrily.
And he huffed and he puffed and he blew the house of straw in.
Fortunately for the first little pig, he reached the house of his second brother before the big bad wolf could get to him.
“Why are you sweating like a pig?” the second little pig asked, then realized how stupid his question was.
“Oops. I forgot. You ARE a pig.”
“It’s the wolf! My house was blown down by the big bad wolf and he will be here soon!”
“Don’t worry brother.” The second little pig said calmly. “My house of stick is strong. He won’t be able to blow it down!”
“Come, let me make you some tea to calm your nerves.”
The two little pigs were enjoying the tea halfway when there was a knock on the door.
“Little pigs, little pigs let me come in!”
“Who’s there?” the second little pig asked.
“Postman.” Came the reply.
“Oh! A letter. I wonder who it’s from.” The second little pig walked towards the door and was about to open it when he remembered that he has yet to tell any of his friends about his new address!
He peeped out of his window and was terrified to see the big bad wolf standing in front of the door!
“No. No one’s at home. Go away!” the second little pig said.
“Ha ha! You can’t fool me! I’m going to ask you one more time now…Little pigs, little pigs let me come in!”
“No no no! Not by the hairs of OUR chinny chin chin.” Squealed the two little pigs, trembling.
“Oh well, then I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll blow the house in!”
And the big bad wolf huffed and he puffed but the house of stick did not budge.
“See. I told you my house is strong”. The second little pig said triumphantly.
The big bad wolf decided to try again. He huffed and he puffed and this time, he blew the house of stick in!
Fortunately for the two little pigs, they were well on their way to the house of the third little pig.
“Bother. What does it takes to have a nice little breakfast?” the big bad wolf grumbled.
The two little pigs reached the brick house of the third little pig soon after.
“Quick quick! Let us in brother!” they yelled.
The third little pig opened the door and was rather surprised to see his brothers’ face as white as a sheet.
“What happened?”
It’s the big bad wolf! He’s coming!” the first little pig said.
“Let him come then! My house of bricks is strong. He won’t be able to blow it down.” Said the third little pig confidently.
“Are you sure?” the second little pig asked.
“Trust me.” Said the third little pig. “Come, I was just preparing lunch. We are having baked pies today!”
The three little pigs were enjoying their pies halfway when there was a knock on the door.
“Little pigs, little pigs let me come in!”
“Who is it?” the third little pig asked.
“It’s your mother.”
“Oh! Mother’s here to visit!” the three little pigs squealed excitedly.
“Quick! Open the door!”
The third little pig rushed to the door and was about to open it when he stopped.
“Wait a minute. Mother doesn’t sound like this.” He thought to himself.
So he peeped out of his window and sure enough, standing in front of the door was the big bad wolf!
The third little pig was a bit scared but he remained calm.
“I know it’s you, big bad wolf.” The third little pig said. “Save your breath. I won’t let you come in.”
“Very well. I’m tired of repeating myself anyway. All this talking is making me VERY HUNGRY!’
“Then I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll blow your house in!”
“Go ahead.” The third little pig said arrogantly.
So the big bad wolf huffed and he puffed but he could not blow the house of bricks in. He tried again and again but the house stood firm.
The big bad wolf was tired. He realized that he would never be able to blow the house of bricks down. So, he decided to resort to trickery.
“Little pig, would you like some fine big turnips?”
“Oh. Sure I would.” The third little pig said.
“Then come with me to Farmer Brown’s turnip field early tomorrow morning. We’ll collect enough for both of us.”
“I’ll come and fetch you at six o’clock.”
“Very well.” Said the third little pig. “I’ll be ready for you.”
“Are you mad?” the two little pigs asked. “Picking turnips with the big bad wolf?!”
“Don’t worry brothers. I have a plan.” The third little pig said confidently.
Of course, the third little pig, being smarter than his brother knew exactly what the big bad wolf was up to. He got up at five o’clock the next morning and went to the field to pick a sack full of turnips himself. He returned home before the wolf arrived at six.
“Little pig, little pig let me come in.”
“Why should I?” the third little pig asked.
“Well, aren’t we supposed to gather the turnips together?” the big bad wolf asked.
“Oh yes. About that, sorry to tell you that I already went and have returned with a big sack of turnip.”
The big bad wolf was furious but he was determined not to lose his cool. He still wanted the three little pigs for his meal.
“Little pig, would you like some sweet juicy apples then?
The third little pig thought for a while then replied, “Yah. Sure. Apples would be nice.”
“Then come down to the Orchard with me tomorrow morning. We’ll pick enough apples for an apple feast! I’ll come fetch you at five o’clock.”
Of course, the little pig woke up earlier and he reached the orchard at four o’clock the next morning. But the wolf was not stupid either. This time he was at the orchard earlier too.
The third little pig was climbing down the apple tree when he saw the big bad wolf approaching.
“Are you here before me, little pig?” asked the wolf. “Are those nice apples?”
“Yes. Very nice.” The third little pig replied. “Here, try one.” And he threw the apple to the wolf.
But he purposely threw it so far that the wolf had to run down to hill to pick it up.
The third little pig jumped down from the tree and ran home.
Phew. What a close shave!
The big bad wolf was incense that he got tricked again and he vowed that he would have the three little pigs for breakfast, lunch and dinner. By hook or by crook!
While he was in his den hatching out another of his evil plans, there was suddenly a flash of light!
Whoosh!
As the smoke settled, an old man stood in front of the big bad wolf.
“What’s this? Free dinner?” the big bad wolf laughed.
“Me dinner?” the old man spoke. “Don’t you know who I am creature? I can easily turn you into a frog if I please.”
“No.” said the big bad wolf. “All my meals look the same to me.” And he moved nearer towards to old man. Dinner was about to be served.
“Fool! I am the Fairy Godfather! You dare to eat me?!” the old man thundered.
“Fairy Godfather? Don’t think I’ve heard before. Are you somehow related to the Fairy Godmother?” the big bad wolf asked.
“Of course. Are you stupid or what? I’m her husband!”
“Well then, all the more I should have you for DINNER!” the big bad wolf growled. “All the fairytales that you made, the bad guys NEVER wins. It’s always the good guys.”
The Fairy Godfather looked at the wolf intently, then said, “Well you see Mr wolf, that is all about to change.”
“Change? How?” the wolf asked curiously.
“Just say that there’s going to be a new man in charge of fairytale land.” The Fairy Godfather replied.
“Well, maybe you can put your money where your mouth is by helping me here…the three little pigs are driving me crazy… and I’m hungry.”
“Ha. No problem.” The Fairy Godfather laughed. “That wife of mine must have given you lots of headache by creating such an ending for you.”
“Yes! Yes! The third little pig is just too clever!”
“Do you know that you were supposed to die at the end of this tale?” the Fairy Godfather asked.
“What? Me? Dead?” the big bad wolf shuddered.
“Yes. Out of desperation, you decide to climb into the house through the chimney where there will be a huge pot of boiling water waiting for you… ouch.”
“I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS!” cried the big bad wolf. “This is so UNFAIR!”
“Don’t worry. All this will change. Come along now, I want you to meet someone.”
So, the Fairy Godfather led the big bad wolf out of his den and waiting for them outside was a giant!
“Hey, aren’t you the giant from the Beanstalk?” the big bad wolf asked.
“Fee-fi-fo-fum.
I smell the blood of a big bad wolf.
Be he alive or dead.
I’ll grind his bones to make my bread.”
“Easy now. The big bad wolf is your friend.” The Fairy Godfather said.
“A friend?” the giant said.
“Fee-fi-fo-fum.
Why do I want the wolf as my friend?
When I can so easily smash his brains.
With one palm of my hand?”
“Ha. Indeed you can but you will help him now, in return he will help you deal with Jack.”
“Who’s Jack?” the big bad wolf asked.
“You’ll know soon enough. But now, let’s settle YOUR problem first,” the Fairy Godfather said.
So, the Fairy Godfather led the big bad wolf out of his den and waiting for them outside was a giant!
So, the big bad wolf returned to the house of bricks the next morning, this time with the giant beside him.
“Little pigs, little pigs let me come in.”
“Not again?! Why doesn’t he just give up?! Doesn’t he know how it all ends?” the third little pig said in frustration.
“Maybe he’ll give up after today?” the second little pig said.
“Oh. Very well.” Said the third little pig. “No. You know my answer wolf. Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin.”
“Then I’ll ask THE GIANT to huff and puff and blow your house in!!!”
“The Giant?!” the three little pigs squealed.
“Fee-fi-fo-fum.
I smell the fear of three little pigs.
Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin they squeal.
I think I’ll have them for my meal!”
And so the giant huffed and he puffed and blew the house of bricks in.
That day, the big bad wolf had the first little pig for breakfast, the second for lunch and the third for dinner. And he was very very full… and yes before I forgot… he lived happily ever after…
1 comment:
Nice twist! Some parts were really funny. LOL :D
Post a Comment